200+Halloween Jokes That Are Scary Funny

Colorful Halloween jokes infographic with ghosts, monsters, skeletons, vampires, witches, and pumpkins

Halloween is the one night of the year when it is socially acceptable to knock on strangers’ doors, demand candy, and dress like a ghost. Therefore, it is also the perfect time to unleash a collection of terribly good Halloween jokes that will make everyone groan, giggle, and maybe even hide their candy bowls. From puns about ghosts to one-liners about vampires, from skeleton humor to witchy wordplay, this collection is packed with spooky silliness. Whether you are handing out candy, attending a costume party, or just trying to scare up some laughs, these jokes will do the trick. Consequently, prepare your best creepy voice, practice your most dramatic eye roll, and get ready to entertain ghosts and goblins of all ages.

πŸŽƒ Pumpkin Jokes That Are Gourd-geous

πŸŽƒ Pumpkin Jokes That Are Gourd-geous

Jack-O’-Lantern Wordplay

  • πŸŽƒ Why did the pumpkin stop crossing the road? It ran out of guts.
  • πŸŽƒ What do you call a pumpkin that plays sports? A jock-o’-lantern.
  • πŸŽƒ How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch, obviously.
  • πŸŽƒ Why did the jack-o’-lantern go to the doctor? It had a seedy problem.
  • πŸŽƒ What do you call a pumpkin that tells jokes? A real gourd-ian of comedy.
  • πŸŽƒ Why don’t pumpkins ever get lonely? They always have their gourds around.
  • πŸŽƒ What do you call a pumpkin that sings? A gourd-geous crooner.
  • πŸŽƒ Why did the pumpkin get a ticket? For being too gourd-geous on the road.
  • πŸŽƒ What do you call a pumpkin that loves math? A plus-pumpkin-total genius.
  • πŸŽƒ Why did the jack-o’-lantern blush? Because it saw the squash.
  • πŸŽƒ What do you call a pumpkin that tells secrets? A gourd-fidant.
  • πŸŽƒ Why are pumpkins so good at carving? They have a lot of guts for it.
  • πŸŽƒ What do you call a pumpkin that loves art? A carved masterpiece.
  • πŸŽƒ Why did the pumpkin go to therapy? It had too many seeds of doubt.
  • πŸŽƒ What do you call a pumpkin that’s also a detective? Sherlock Gourd.

Pumpkin Patch Jokes

  • πŸŽƒ Where do pumpkins go on vacation? The gourd-eans.
  • πŸŽƒ What do you call a pumpkin that works out? A gourd-getter.
  • πŸŽƒ Why did the pumpkin break up with the squash? It needed more space to grow.
  • πŸŽƒ What do you call a pumpkin that’s also a musician? A gourd-ian of the strings.
  • πŸŽƒ Why did the farmer put his pumpkin in the freezer? He wanted a cold squash.
  • πŸŽƒ What do you call a pumpkin that’s afraid of everything? A scared squash.
  • πŸŽƒ Why did the pumpkin get promoted? It was outstanding in its patch.
  • πŸŽƒ What do you call a pumpkin that loves to dance? A gourd-eous mover.
  • πŸŽƒ Why don’t pumpkins ever get lost? They always follow the vine.
  • πŸŽƒ What do you call a pumpkin that’s also a chef? A gourd-d cook.
  • πŸŽƒ Why did the pumpkin go to the bank? To check its balance.
  • πŸŽƒ What do you call a pumpkin that loves reading? A gourd-ian of the library.
  • πŸŽƒ Why did the pumpkin wear a suit? It was going to a formal gourd-eon.
  • πŸŽƒ What do you call a pumpkin that’s also a pilot? A gourd-ian of the skies.
  • πŸŽƒ Why did the pumpkin cross the road twice? It was a double-crosser.

πŸ‘» Ghost Jokes That Are Boo-tiful

Ghost One-Liners

  • πŸ‘» Why did the ghost go to the party? He heard it was going to be a boo-last.
  • πŸ‘» What do you call a ghost that tells jokes? A real boo-mer of comedy.
  • πŸ‘» Why don’t ghosts ever get lonely? They always have their boos around.
  • πŸ‘» What do you call a ghost that sings? A boo-crooner.
  • πŸ‘» Why did the ghost break up with his girlfriend? She was a boo-liar.
  • πŸ‘» What do you call a ghost that loves math? A plus-boo-total genius.
  • πŸ‘» Why did the ghost get a standing ovation? It was truly boo-lievable.
  • πŸ‘» What do you call a ghost that tells secrets? A boo-fidant.
  • πŸ‘» Why are ghosts so good at keeping secrets? They always stay under wraps.
  • πŸ‘» What do you call a ghost that loves to dance? A boo-gie woogie.
  • πŸ‘» Why did the ghost go to the doctor? He was feeling a little transparent.
  • πŸ‘» What do you call a ghost that loves art? A boo-tiful masterpiece.
  • πŸ‘» Why did the ghost get a ticket? For haunting in a school zone.
  • πŸ‘» What do you call a ghost that loves sports? A boo-levard of broken dreams.
  • πŸ‘» Why did the ghost cross the road? To get to the other side, literally.

Ghost Q&A Jokes

  • πŸ‘» What do you call a ghost’s favorite dessert? I-scream with boo-berries.
  • πŸ‘» Why don’t ghosts ever get scared? They’ve seen it all before.
  • πŸ‘» What do you call a ghost’s favorite drink? A boo-zy cocktail.
  • πŸ‘» Why did the ghost become a comedian? He had a killer deadpan delivery.
  • πŸ‘» What do you call a ghost’s favorite song? Boo-hemian Rhapsody.
  • πŸ‘» Why did the ghost fail his driving test? He kept going through red lights.
  • πŸ‘» What do you call a ghost’s favorite movie? The Boo-sichers.
  • πŸ‘» Why did the ghost get a job? He needed to make some boo-llars.
  • πŸ‘» What do you call a ghost’s favorite game? Hide and shriek.
  • πŸ‘» Why did the ghost go back to school? To get a little more boo-cation.
  • πŸ‘» What do you call a ghost’s favorite pet? A boo-dle.
  • πŸ‘» Why did the ghost break up with the ghoul? There was no spirit left.
  • πŸ‘» What do you call a ghost’s favorite holiday? Boo-year’s Eve.
  • πŸ‘» Why did the ghost blush? Because it saw the ghost of its past.
  • πŸ‘» What do you call a ghost that loves baking? A boo-ry of treats.

πŸ§› Vampire Jokes That Are Fang-tastic

Vampire One-Liners

  • πŸ§› Why did the vampire break up with his girlfriend? She was a pain in the neck.
  • πŸ§› What do you call a vampire that tells jokes? A real fang-astic comedian.
  • πŸ§› Why don’t vampires ever get lonely? They always have their fangs around.
  • πŸ§› What do you call a vampire that sings? A fang-crooner.
  • πŸ§› Why did the vampire go to the doctor? He was feeling a little anemic.
  • πŸ§› What do you call a vampire that loves math? A plus-fang-total genius.
  • πŸ§› Why did the vampire get a standing ovation? It was truly fang-tastic.
  • πŸ§› What do you call a vampire that tells secrets? A fang-fidant.
  • πŸ§› Why are vampires so good at keeping secrets? They never spill the blood.
  • πŸ§› What do you call a vampire that loves to dance? A fang-go dancer.
  • πŸ§› Why did the vampire go to the bar? He heard they had a bloody mary.
  • πŸ§› What do you call a vampire that loves art? A fang-tastic masterpiece.
  • πŸ§› Why did the vampire get a ticket? For excessive neck biting.
  • πŸ§› What do you call a vampire that loves sports? A fang-atic fan.
  • πŸ§› Why did the vampire cross the road? To get to the blood bank.
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Vampire Q&A Jokes

  • πŸ§› What do you call a vampire’s favorite dessert? A blood orange.
  • πŸ§› Why don’t vampires ever get sick? They have an iron-rich diet.
  • πŸ§› What do you call a vampire’s favorite drink? A blood sucker.
  • πŸ§› Why did the vampire become a teacher? He wanted to sink his teeth into education.
  • πŸ§› What do you call a vampire’s favorite song? Blood on the Dance Floor.
  • πŸ§› Why did the vampire fail his math test? He couldn’t count past fang.
  • πŸ§› What do you call a vampire’s favorite movie? The Lost Boys, obviously.
  • πŸ§› Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank? He wanted to be close to his work.
  • πŸ§› What do you call a vampire’s favorite game? Bite and seek.
  • πŸ§› Why did the vampire go back to school? To get a little more fang-ucation.
  • πŸ§› What do you call a vampire’s favorite pet? A bloodhound.
  • πŸ§› Why did the vampire break up with the werewolf? There was no fang in the relationship.
  • πŸ§› What do you call a vampire’s favorite holiday? Fang-giving.
  • πŸ§› Why did the vampire blush? Because it saw the neck of its dreams.
  • πŸ§› What do you call a vampire that loves baking? A fang-ry of sweets.

🦴 Skeleton Jokes That Are Bone-chilling

🦴 Skeleton Jokes That Are Bone-chilling

Skeleton One-Liners

  • 🦴 Why did the skeleton break up with his girlfriend? He didn’t have the guts.
  • 🦴 What do you call a skeleton that tells jokes? A real bone-afide comedian.
  • 🦴 Why don’t skeletons ever get lonely? They always have their bones around.
  • 🦴 What do you call a skeleton that sings? A bone-crooner.
  • 🦴 Why did the skeleton go to the doctor? He was feeling a little humerus.
  • 🦴 What do you call a skeleton that loves math? A plus-bone-total genius.
  • 🦴 Why did the skeleton get a standing ovation? It was truly bone-tastic.
  • 🦴 What do you call a skeleton that tells secrets? A bone-fidant.
  • 🦴 Why are skeletons so good at keeping secrets? They have nothing to hide.
  • 🦴 What do you call a skeleton that loves to dance? A bone-go dancer.
  • 🦴 Why did the skeleton go to the party? He heard there would be a bone-fire.
  • 🦴 What do you call a skeleton that loves art? A bone-tiful masterpiece.
  • 🦴 Why did the skeleton get a ticket? For loitering without any skin.
  • 🦴 What do you call a skeleton that loves sports? A bone-ified fan.
  • 🦴 Why did the skeleton cross the road? To get to the body shop.

Skeleton Q&A Jokes

  • 🦴 What do you call a skeleton’s favorite dessert? Spare ribs.
  • 🦴 Why don’t skeletons ever get scared? They have no nerves.
  • 🦴 What do you call a skeleton’s favorite drink? Bone broth.
  • 🦴 Why did the skeleton become a comedian? He had a killer funny bone.
  • 🦴 What do you call a skeleton’s favorite song? Dem Bones.
  • 🦴 Why did the skeleton fail his driving test? He couldn’t keep his bones together.
  • 🦴 What do you call a skeleton’s favorite movie? The Bone Collector.
  • 🦴 Why did the skeleton get a job? He needed some spare change.
  • 🦴 What do you call a skeleton’s favorite game? Hide and shriek.
  • 🦴 Why did the skeleton go back to school? To get a little more bone-ucation.
  • 🦴 What do you call a skeleton’s favorite pet? A bone-ified dog.
  • 🦴 Why did the skeleton break up with the mummy? There was no backbone in the relationship.
  • 🦴 What do you call a skeleton’s favorite holiday? Bone-giving.
  • 🦴 Why did the skeleton blush? Because it saw the marrow of its dreams.
  • 🦴 What do you call a skeleton that loves baking? A bone-ry of treats.

πŸ§™ Witches and Wizards Jokes That Are Spell-binding

Witch One-Liners

  • πŸ§™ Why did the witch break up with her boyfriend? He was a warlock-up.
  • πŸ§™ What do you call a witch that tells jokes? A real spell-arious comedian.
  • πŸ§™ Why don’t witches ever get lonely? They always have their brooms around.
  • πŸ§™ What do you call a witch that sings? A spell-crooner.
  • πŸ§™ Why did the witch go to the doctor? She was feeling a little hex-hausted.
  • πŸ§™ What do you call a witch that loves math? A plus-spell-total genius.
  • πŸ§™ Why did the witch get a standing ovation? It was truly spell-bounding.
  • πŸ§™ What do you call a witch that tells secrets? A spell-fidant.
  • πŸ§™ Why are witches so good at keeping secrets? They put a hex on anyone who talks.
  • πŸ§™ What do you call a witch that loves to dance? A spell-go dancer.
  • πŸ§™ Why did the witch go to the bar? She heard they had a magic potion.
  • πŸ§™ What do you call a witch that loves art? A spell-binding masterpiece.
  • πŸ§™ Why did the witch get a ticket? For flying under the influence.
  • πŸ§™ What do you call a witch that loves sports? A spell-atic fan.
  • πŸ§™ Why did the witch cross the road? To get to the other side of the cauldron.

Witch Q&A Jokes

  • πŸ§™ What do you call a witch’s favorite dessert? I-scream with broom-berries.
  • πŸ§™ Why don’t witches ever get scared? They have all their spells.
  • πŸ§™ What do you call a witch’s favorite drink? A pumpkin spice potion.
  • πŸ§™ Why did the witch become a teacher? She wanted to cast a spell on young minds.
  • πŸ§™ What do you call a witch’s favorite song? Double, Double, Toil and Trouble.
  • πŸ§™ Why did the witch fail her driving test? She kept turning people into newts.
  • πŸ§™ What do you call a witch’s favorite movie? The Wizard of Oz, obviously.
  • πŸ§™ Why did the witch get a job? She needed to make some spell-ing money.
  • πŸ§™ What do you call a witch’s favorite game? Broom and seek.
  • πŸ§™ Why did the witch go back to school? To get a little more spell-ucation.
  • πŸ§™ What do you call a witch’s favorite pet? A spell-unk.
  • πŸ§™ Why did the witch break up with the wizard? There was no magic in the relationship.
  • πŸ§™ What do you call a witch’s favorite holiday? Spell-oween.
  • πŸ§™ Why did the witch blush? Because it saw the warlock of its dreams.
  • πŸ§™ What do you call a witch that loves baking? A spell-ry of treats.
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πŸ•ΈοΈ Spider and Bat Jokes That Are Creepy Cute

Spider One-Liners

  • πŸ•·οΈ Why did the spider break up with his girlfriend? She was a web of lies.
  • πŸ•·οΈ What do you call a spider that tells jokes? A real web-arious comedian.
  • πŸ•·οΈhalloween jokes Why don’t spiders ever get lonely? They always have their webs around.
  • πŸ•·οΈ What do you call a spider that sings? A web-crooner.
  • πŸ•·οΈ Why did the spider go to the doctor? He was feeling a little buggy.
  • πŸ•·οΈ What do you call a spider that loves math? A plus-web-total genius.
  • πŸ•·οΈ Why did the spider get a standing ovation? It was truly web-tastic.
  • πŸ•·οΈ What do you call a spider that tells secrets? A web-fidant.
  • πŸ•·οΈ Why are spiders so good at keeping secrets? They always spin a good story.
  • πŸ•·οΈ What do you call a spider that loves to dance? A web-go dancer.
  • πŸ•·οΈ Why did the spider go to the party? He heard it was a web-slinger.
  • πŸ•·οΈ What do you call a spider that loves art? A web-tiful masterpiece.
  • πŸ•·οΈ Why did the spider get a ticket? For spinning a web of lies.
  • πŸ•·οΈ halloween jokes What do you call a spider that loves sports? A web-atic fan.
  • πŸ•·οΈ Why did the spider cross the road? To get to the other web.

Bat One-Liners

  • πŸ¦‡ Why did the bat break up with his girlfriend? She was a pain in the neck.
  • πŸ¦‡ What do you call a bat that tells jokes? A real fang-astic comedian.
  • πŸ¦‡ Why don’t bats ever get lonely? They always hang out together.
  • πŸ¦‡ What do you call a bat that sings? A fang-crooner.
  • πŸ¦‡ Why did the bat go to the doctor? He was feeling a little echolocation.
  • πŸ¦‡ What do you call a bat that loves math? A plus-bat-total genius.
  • πŸ¦‡ Why did the bat get a standing ovation? It was truly bat-tastic.
  • πŸ¦‡ What do you call a bat that tells secrets? A bat-fidant.
  • πŸ¦‡ Why are bats so good at keeping secrets? They always hang upside down.
  • πŸ¦‡ What do you call a bat that loves to dance? A bat-go dancer.
  • πŸ¦‡ Why did the bat go to the party? He heard it was a bat-ty affair.
  • πŸ¦‡ halloween jokes What do you call a bat that loves art? A bat-tiful masterpiece.
  • πŸ¦‡ Why did the bat get a ticket? For loitering in the belfry.
  • πŸ¦‡ What do you call a bat that loves sports? A bat-atic fan.
  • πŸ¦‡ Why did the bat cross the road? To get to the other cave.

🍬 Candy and Trick-or-Treat Jokes

🍬 Candy and Trick-or-Treat Jokes

Candy Corn Wordplay

  • 🍬 Why did the candy corn break up with the chocolate? It was too sweet of a relationship.
  • 🍬 halloween jokes What do you call a candy that tells jokes? A real treat-arious comedian.
  • 🍬 Why don’t candies ever get lonely? They always have their wrappers around.
  • 🍬 What do you call a candy that sings? A treat-crooner.
  • 🍬 Why did the candy go to the doctor? It was feeling a little wrapped up.
  • 🍬 What do you call a candy that loves math? A plus-treat-total genius.
  • 🍬 Why did the candy get a standing ovation? It was truly treat-tastic.
  • 🍬 What do you call a candy that tells secrets? A treat-fidant.
  • 🍬 Why are candies so good at keeping secrets? They never unwrap the truth.
  • 🍬 What do you call a candy that loves to dance? A treat-go dancer.
  • 🍬 Why did the candy go to the party? He heard it was a sweet affair.
  • 🍬 What do you call a candy that loves art? A treat-tiful masterpiece.
  • 🍬 Why did the candy get a ticket? For loitering in the candy bowl.
  • 🍬 What do you call a candy that loves sports? A treat-atic fan.
  • 🍬 halloween jokes Why did the candy cross the road? To get to the other house for trick-or-treat.

Trick-or-Treat Jokes

  • 🍬 Why did the ghost go trick-or-treating? He wanted some boo-berries.
  • 🍬 What do you call a trick-or-treater who only gets apples? A healthy disappointment.
  • 🍬 Why did the vampire go trick-or-treating? He heard there was a blood orange.
  • 🍬 What do you say to a trick-or-treater who won’t leave? “Take a hike, I’m out of Snickers.”
  • 🍬 Why did the skeleton go trick-or-treating? He needed some spare ribs.
  • 🍬 What do you call a house that gives out toothbrushes? A cavity of nightmares.
  • 🍬 Why did the witch go trick-or-treating? She wanted some magic potion bars.
  • 🍬 halloween jokes What do you give a trick-or-treater who’s been bad? A bag of Brussels sprouts.
  • 🍬 Why did the mummy go trick-or-treating? He wanted some wrap-berry candy.
  • 🍬 What do you call a trick-or-treater who’s also a lawyer? A sue-weet tooth.
  • 🍬 Why did the werewolf go trick-or-treating? He heard there were full-sized bars.
  • 🍬 What do you call a house that gives out pennies? The worst house on the block.
  • 🍬 Why did the zombie go trick-or-treating? He needed brains… in candy form.
  • 🍬 What do you give a trick-or-treater who’s dressed as a potato? A sweet potato pie.
  • 🍬 Why did the kid dress as a mailbox? So he could get all the letters… of candy.
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🧟 Mummy and Zombie Jokes That Are Dead Funny

Mummy One-Liners

  • 🧟 Why did the mummy break up with his girlfriend? She was too wrapped up in herself.
  • 🧟 What do you call a mummy that tells jokes? A real wrap-arious comedian.
  • 🧟 Why don’t mummies ever get lonely? They always have their wraps around.
  • 🧟 What do you call a mummy that sings? A wrap-crooner.
  • 🧟 Why did the mummy go to the doctor? He was feeling a little unraveled.
  • 🧟 halloween jokes What do you call a mummy that loves math? A plus-wrap-total genius.
  • 🧟 Why did the mummy get a standing ovation? It was truly wrap-tastic.
  • 🧟 What do you call a mummy that tells secrets? A wrap-fidant.
  • 🧟 Why are mummies so good at keeping secrets? They keep everything under wraps.
  • 🧟 What do you call a mummy that loves to dance? A wrap-go dancer.
  • 🧟 Why did the mummy go to the party? He heard it was a wrap party.
  • 🧟 What do you call a mummy that loves art? A wrap-tiful masterpiece.
  • 🧟 Why did the mummy get a ticket? For loitering in the tomb.
  • 🧟 What do you call a mummy that loves sports? A wrap-atic fan.
  • 🧟 Why did the mummy cross the road? To get to the other wrap.

Zombie One-Liners

  • 🧟halloween jokes Why did the zombie break up with his girlfriend? She was a pain in the brain.
  • 🧟 What do you call a zombie that tells jokes? A real brain-arious comedian.
  • 🧟 Why don’t zombies ever get lonely? They always have their brains around.
  • 🧟 What do you call a zombie that sings? A brain-crooner.
  • 🧟 Why did the zombie go to the doctor? He was feeling a little dead.
  • 🧟 What do you call a zombie that loves math? A plus-brain-total genius.
  • 🧟 Why did the zombie get a standing ovation? It was truly brain-tastic.
  • 🧟 What do you call a zombie that tells secrets? A brain-fidant.
  • 🧟 Why are zombies so good at keeping secrets? They forget everything anyway.
  • 🧟 What do you call a zombie that loves to dance? A brain-go dancer.
  • 🧟 Why did the zombie go to the party? He heard there would be brain food.
  • 🧟 What do you call a zombie that loves art? A brain-tiful masterpiece.
  • 🧟 Why did the zombie get a ticket? For loitering in the cemetery.
  • 🧟 What do you call a zombie that loves sports? A brain-atic fan.
  • 🧟 Why did the zombie cross the road? To get to the other brain.

❓ Frequently Asked Questions About Halloween Jokes

πŸ“Œ Are Halloween jokes appropriate for all ages?

Yes, most Halloween jokes are family-friendly and perfect for kids. Therefore, they work wonderfully for school parties, trunk-or-treat events, and family gatherings. Moreover, the puns are silly rather than scary. Consequently, you can use them around young children without any concern. For this reason, they are some of the safest holiday jokes available.

❓ Where can I tell Halloween jokes?

They work great at Halloween parties, while handing out candy, or in classroom settings. Therefore, you can also share them on social media, in greeting cards, or during trick-or-treating walks. Moreover, they are perfect for breaking the ice at costume parties. Consequently, keep a few ready for any Halloween gathering this season.

πŸ’‘ What is the best Halloween joke of all time?

“Why didn’t the skeleton go to the party? Because he had no body to go with.” is a beloved classic. Additionally, “What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand-witch” is another fan favorite. Therefore, these jokes have stood the test of time and continue to make people groan every Halloween.

⭐ Can I use Halloween jokes in a speech or toast?

Absolutely, they work wonderfully for toasts at Halloween parties. Therefore, start with a quick joke to get everyone laughing before raising your glass. Moreover, a well-timed joke can warm up any crowd of ghosts and goblins. Consequently, don’t be afraid to add some humor to your Halloween celebrations.

🎯 How do I deliver a Halloween joke for maximum laughs?

Deliver it with a spooky voice and a straight face. Therefore, pause before the punchline to build anticipation among your listeners. Moreover, act like you genuinely think it’s the scariest joke ever told. Consequently, the contrast between your serious delivery and the silly pun creates the comedic effect. Finally, practice your best ghost voice before sharing.

πŸ”₯ Are there Halloween jokes for adults only?

Yes, some Halloween jokes lean darker or more suggestive. Therefore, know your audience before telling any joke. Moreover, the jokes in this collection are mostly family-friendly and clean. Consequently, you can safely share them with mixed groups of all ages. For this reason, they are perfect for community Halloween events.

Conclusion

Halloween jokes are the perfect way to add some spooky silliness to your holiday celebrations. Whether you love pumpkin puns, ghostly groans, or vampire wordplay, there is a joke here for every trick-or-treater at heart. Therefore, share them with family, friends, and even the little monsters knocking on your door. Moreover, remember that a good Halloween joke is all about timing, delivery, and a little bit of spooky spirit. Consequently, practice your best creepy voice and get ready to make everyone groan with delight. Finally, keep laughing, keep celebrating, and keep the Halloween humor alive all year long. Share your favorite pun in the comments below.

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